Exploration of The MIND

A journey of discovery

Being put to the test

Today i was severely tested on my patience. It really annoys me how when you seem to have reached a good place and your on a really good vibe people want to try and deflate that and pull you down mentally on to their level.
I have to laugh really, sometimes you are placed in certain situations (or should i say certain situations find their way to you) where you are being tested. But it’s not the test that matters it’s whether or not you pass and today i certainly did. I wasn’t going to allow nothing or nobody to affect my peace of mind, i may have rose to the situation at the time, but i quickly dragged myself out of it and walked away for which i am very proud of.

July 31, 2009 Posted by | Life, Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

Keeping focus

Sometimes we allow ourselves to get so tangled up in matters of life – whether it be love,work,finances, that we lose sight of who we are.
Sometimes we get thrown so far off track that we have to re-discover ourselves. And sometimes our journey of discovery is something new to us, for we never really figured out who we were in the first place.
Whichever may apply to you, if any, the focal point here is that among the chaos you always have to remember YOU. No one else can be there for you better than you can be there for yourself. Building and maintaining that relationship with yourself can be really difficult for some of us, even more so than building a relationship with someone else. But unless we have first built that relationship with ourselves, maintaining that relationship with someone else can be even more difficult. The same instance applies to everything really, work, your children, friendships, if your not whole with yourself  this in some way can affect all areas of your life in regards to how you handle certain situations or letting certain situations handle you.

I speak with a dear friend of mine in mind whilst writing this post. She is someone who i believe has never fully discovered herself. And now that children have been thrown into the equation, she has sort of become a little lost. She has allowed a lot of people in her life to walk all over her because she has never built that relationship with herself, therefore she does not allow herself to receive that level of respect that she deserves. She is also very self doubting in such a way that it’s not very nice to hear. And one of her favourite words seems to be “can’t”. She has kid’s so she hasn’t got the time, so she “can’t” do this and she “can’t” do that. She is basically in a state where i just want to shake her and say “OK so you have kid’s and a husband so what, this does not make you less capable of doing anything that you want to do. You should always have time for you,and if things are a little chaotic – find that time. Find that time to work on that relationship with yourself.”

I have my partner who i love dearly and my gorgeous son who is so precious to me. And i know that in order to be there for them in the way i should and the way i feel i should, i need to keep focus of who i am. I need to always remember me, and give myself that time i deserve to be me. If i didn’t then eventually i would crumble, then what would that leave for them, for my son. Despite saying this, before them…there was just me. This is something i and all of us have to remember.

March 30, 2009 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Life is what you make it?

I have been so busy lately trying to get my business up and running and trying to maintain my blogs, and then just everyday life – my son etc, It has led me to thinking a lot about life. There are so many possibilities available to you, it’s just about recognizing them and embracing them. I can now see that I was the blockage to my own happiness. I spent years dwelling on what was surrounding me – no job, no money, bills everywhere. I couldn’t see anything else, i was sinking…in a pit of despair to be honest. When things only seemed to be getting worse i realised that only i could bring myself out of the current situation. So i climbed out of it and never looked back, i realised that there are an endless amount of opportunities out there i just had to get out there and go and grab myself some of them. And since doing so things have changed dramatically. I realised i had to change my mindset. My opinion of myself was extremely low and i had no faith in the beauty of life. I now understand the true meaning behind the saying “Life is what you make it”. If you sit on your Tod doing nothing, thinking your nothing and that you don’t deserve nothing, then that’s exactly what life is going to bring you – Nothing. You have to really get out there and find opportunities where you didn’t think they lay, you have to have complete and utter faith in life,God and yourself. And even though the time may arise when it seems like things are going a little down hill you cannot allow it to change your mindset,always remember that you can turn things around.
Why is it that we don’t always welcome what is available to us? Why is it we don’t always realise were blocking what we want from reaching us? This evening i was having a discussion with my partner and he told me that in every situation – with every change always stands the question, what if? He seemed to think this is perfectly normal and that probably almost everyone does the same thing. Although it probably is true that a lot of people always ponder over the same thing and that to some degree it is normal, but i strongly disagree that it’s normal in the sense that it’s OK. I used to do the same thing don’t get me wrong, but you can’t hold a question mark over everything because this creates doubt, it doesn’t make room for certainty. Which is why i no longer do this, i cannot afford to spend time paying attention to this when life has so much to offer. I believe you should fully embrace life and all it has to offer. Always remember that your life is in your hands and the that the final road is always your choice. Sometimes you may get slightly jolted off track but there will always be a reason for this which will usually in some way go in your favour, although you may not realise this straight away if at all. But your final destination will always be your own creation. Hold on to what it is that you want see only that and believe in nothing else but that, that way there is never any room for what if.

When you clearly start to see the beauty of life that beauty will start raining down on your life!

March 18, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finding a place called home

yoga-girl

So i finally feel like I’ve done it. I can now look all those that judged and criticized me, in the faces and say “Ha, look at me now.” So – called friends, family, my so – called father. Things are going so great it makes me beam with Joy. In the past year a lot has happened some of which you’ll know about, and i just wanna thank all those that doubted me, that did me wrong and those that hated on me. You know why…..? Because you have helped me to release a strength i never knew was there, without all the upheaval over the past year i would not be where i am now. So thanks 🙂
I don’t understand some people. They want to cuss you if your not going anywhere, if your not doing anything with yourself, but then when you are they still want to cuss you. You think your better than them because your doing something with your life, because you have plans, hopes, dreams. If they put that energy that they used to judge and criticize you on themselves, then they too may reach a point where they can be happy with there lives and themselves.

This Saturday i celebrate 5 years with my partner. To some of you that may not seem like anything big but to me that’s huge. There were times that i wondered if we’d get this far and i know a few people that never thought we would and are still hoping that we probably won’t go much further, and to them i politely present my middle finger!
For me, it’s because so much has gone on and it just amazes me that we always manage to come through it. We managed to resolve one issue that seemed to resolve everything and now things feel stronger than ever…..anyway my point here being that, i guess sometimes the test of true love is not always the battles you face but it’s the ones you don’t. It’s the things that go unsaid, the issues you never knew were really there. It’s recognizing them. I was so blinded by issues in front of my eyes that i never actually realised that that was not the root of the problem, it was something i didn’t even notice was there, therefore i couldn’t see it.

Now i feel at peace with everything, with myself, with life, and with my relationship. I know that i will still reach a few more bumps along my journey but i am extremely grateful for the smooth ride now.

February 26, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff | , , , | Leave a comment

GoodBye

The new year approaches, and i embrace it with grace – strength- determination and excitement. This year has taught me a lot about, people, life and myself.
This time last year is one i don’t care to go into to much or even remember, lets just say,it wasn’t a good time for me. But i managed to find my way out of the dark and into a beautiful light. I have learnt to believe. To believe that there is a whole new world waiting out there for me, just waiting for me to find it. I have learnt not to dwell on my appearances – how things seem are not how they really are. Not to stress over my struggles, that brighter day’s are to come. I have learnt to see the beauty in everything, and to accept whatever life chooses to bless me with. For every occurrence is a blessing. Whether it be good….. or bad, a reason lies behind, – a lesson is to be learned.
This year a lot of things have been revealed to me about people, which for a moment, took me to a sad place. But i didn’t allow it to keep me there. This year i have realised just how strong a person i am. You can throw hateful- jealous words, and you can kick me, but you will never be able to hold me down.
I’ve learnt to accept who i am, I’ve learnt to love myself. To me that is my greatest achievement this year. Saying that, to some of you, you may think – “Is that all”, but it’s personal. I’ve come a long way to get here.

For the new year i plan to fully exert myself. I’m on a mission and nothings going to get in my way. I am going to create the life that i deserve. Experience the happiness that i deserve. I am going to give my son the life he deserves and plant stable roots for his future.
I am ready to say goodbye to 2008, and i thank God for it. I am now ready for 2009.

December 31, 2008 Posted by | Personal stuff | , , , , | 2 Comments

Todays Haiku

green-job-crossroads2The life you lead is
the life you choose so be sure
to make the right choice.

                                     Written by Leonie Isaacs

November 12, 2008 Posted by | haiku poetry, Life, Uncategorized | , | 1 Comment

Todays Haiku

Circling clockwise
Ticktocking as you go, slow
Yet life passes fast

                                             Time
                                              Written by Leonie Isaacs
  

 

Fresh pencil shavings
Innocent laughter lingers
Bon Bons passed around
 
       

                                          In the classroom
                                          Written by Leonie Isaacs
                  

November 4, 2008 Posted by | Life | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Todays Haiku

Rain violently pours
the trees wrestle with the wind
golden leaves scatter.

                                Written by Leonie Isaacs

I didn’t get round to writing yesterdays, so here it is,

We scurry about
missing the beauty of life
as it sails on by.

                     Written by Leonie Isaacs

November 2, 2008 Posted by | haiku poetry | , , | 1 Comment

Moments

Written by Leonie Isaacs

Life is a whirlwind of moments

Moments that bring joy and happiness
sorrow and pain
fear and anxiety
anger and rage

Its these moments that help to shape and define who we are
Its these moments that we take for granted
Learn from yesterday, and look forward to tomorrow
But then you would ask
“What happens to today”

Today you appreciate those moments
For they may bring joy and happiness
sorrow and pain
fear and anxiety
anger and rage

But without these moments
you wouldn’t be you.

September 6, 2008 Posted by | Life | , | 1 Comment