Exploration of The MIND

A journey of discovery

Being put to the test

Today i was severely tested on my patience. It really annoys me how when you seem to have reached a good place and your on a really good vibe people want to try and deflate that and pull you down mentally on to their level.
I have to laugh really, sometimes you are placed in certain situations (or should i say certain situations find their way to you) where you are being tested. But it’s not the test that matters it’s whether or not you pass and today i certainly did. I wasn’t going to allow nothing or nobody to affect my peace of mind, i may have rose to the situation at the time, but i quickly dragged myself out of it and walked away for which i am very proud of.

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July 31, 2009 Posted by | Life, Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

Keeping focus

Sometimes we allow ourselves to get so tangled up in matters of life – whether it be love,work,finances, that we lose sight of who we are.
Sometimes we get thrown so far off track that we have to re-discover ourselves. And sometimes our journey of discovery is something new to us, for we never really figured out who we were in the first place.
Whichever may apply to you, if any, the focal point here is that among the chaos you always have to remember YOU. No one else can be there for you better than you can be there for yourself. Building and maintaining that relationship with yourself can be really difficult for some of us, even more so than building a relationship with someone else. But unless we have first built that relationship with ourselves, maintaining that relationship with someone else can be even more difficult. The same instance applies to everything really, work, your children, friendships, if your not whole with yourself  this in some way can affect all areas of your life in regards to how you handle certain situations or letting certain situations handle you.

I speak with a dear friend of mine in mind whilst writing this post. She is someone who i believe has never fully discovered herself. And now that children have been thrown into the equation, she has sort of become a little lost. She has allowed a lot of people in her life to walk all over her because she has never built that relationship with herself, therefore she does not allow herself to receive that level of respect that she deserves. She is also very self doubting in such a way that it’s not very nice to hear. And one of her favourite words seems to be “can’t”. She has kid’s so she hasn’t got the time, so she “can’t” do this and she “can’t” do that. She is basically in a state where i just want to shake her and say “OK so you have kid’s and a husband so what, this does not make you less capable of doing anything that you want to do. You should always have time for you,and if things are a little chaotic – find that time. Find that time to work on that relationship with yourself.”

I have my partner who i love dearly and my gorgeous son who is so precious to me. And i know that in order to be there for them in the way i should and the way i feel i should, i need to keep focus of who i am. I need to always remember me, and give myself that time i deserve to be me. If i didn’t then eventually i would crumble, then what would that leave for them, for my son. Despite saying this, before them…there was just me. This is something i and all of us have to remember.

March 30, 2009 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Question!

Isn’t it funny when your on the bus and you happen to notice a particular lady on there, and later at the end of your day on the way home that same lady gets on your bus. Now is that just coincidence or is there a reason that stranger shows up in your day twice? Things like this happen to me a lot and always wondered.

March 22, 2009 Posted by | Life | , | 1 Comment

Life is what you make it?

I have been so busy lately trying to get my business up and running and trying to maintain my blogs, and then just everyday life – my son etc, It has led me to thinking a lot about life. There are so many possibilities available to you, it’s just about recognizing them and embracing them. I can now see that I was the blockage to my own happiness. I spent years dwelling on what was surrounding me – no job, no money, bills everywhere. I couldn’t see anything else, i was sinking…in a pit of despair to be honest. When things only seemed to be getting worse i realised that only i could bring myself out of the current situation. So i climbed out of it and never looked back, i realised that there are an endless amount of opportunities out there i just had to get out there and go and grab myself some of them. And since doing so things have changed dramatically. I realised i had to change my mindset. My opinion of myself was extremely low and i had no faith in the beauty of life. I now understand the true meaning behind the saying “Life is what you make it”. If you sit on your Tod doing nothing, thinking your nothing and that you don’t deserve nothing, then that’s exactly what life is going to bring you – Nothing. You have to really get out there and find opportunities where you didn’t think they lay, you have to have complete and utter faith in life,God and yourself. And even though the time may arise when it seems like things are going a little down hill you cannot allow it to change your mindset,always remember that you can turn things around.
Why is it that we don’t always welcome what is available to us? Why is it we don’t always realise were blocking what we want from reaching us? This evening i was having a discussion with my partner and he told me that in every situation – with every change always stands the question, what if? He seemed to think this is perfectly normal and that probably almost everyone does the same thing. Although it probably is true that a lot of people always ponder over the same thing and that to some degree it is normal, but i strongly disagree that it’s normal in the sense that it’s OK. I used to do the same thing don’t get me wrong, but you can’t hold a question mark over everything because this creates doubt, it doesn’t make room for certainty. Which is why i no longer do this, i cannot afford to spend time paying attention to this when life has so much to offer. I believe you should fully embrace life and all it has to offer. Always remember that your life is in your hands and the that the final road is always your choice. Sometimes you may get slightly jolted off track but there will always be a reason for this which will usually in some way go in your favour, although you may not realise this straight away if at all. But your final destination will always be your own creation. Hold on to what it is that you want see only that and believe in nothing else but that, that way there is never any room for what if.

When you clearly start to see the beauty of life that beauty will start raining down on your life!

March 18, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An off day

I don’t know where i was today but my mind was completely some where else. For the majority of the day, for some unknown reason i have felt pretty low. It was a horrible feeling i couldn’t shake myself out of. One minor thing upset me a little this morning and it’s like, it just reminded me of other little problems around me that i am trying to ignore. And it really hit me because i don’t normally get like this, I’m normally really upbeat and highly optimistic about things. I don’t normally let things get to me, but today i let my guard down. I was grumpy,short tempered and not bothered about doing anything. I kept making silly mistakes today too like putting the remote in the fridge, and the milk in the cupboard. I hate it when your down about something but you just don’t know what, so you try to justify it with things that are really pointless. This was me all day. I was completely off track, but as i began to wind down this evening i have managed to climb out of my dark pit. I guess the moral of this post is that we can’t all be chipper all the time. I’m only human after all, and although i am normally together i can’t expect myself to be that way all the time. We all have our off days and today was mine.

March 9, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff | , , , | 2 Comments

Finding a place called home

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So i finally feel like I’ve done it. I can now look all those that judged and criticized me, in the faces and say “Ha, look at me now.” So – called friends, family, my so – called father. Things are going so great it makes me beam with Joy. In the past year a lot has happened some of which you’ll know about, and i just wanna thank all those that doubted me, that did me wrong and those that hated on me. You know why…..? Because you have helped me to release a strength i never knew was there, without all the upheaval over the past year i would not be where i am now. So thanks 🙂
I don’t understand some people. They want to cuss you if your not going anywhere, if your not doing anything with yourself, but then when you are they still want to cuss you. You think your better than them because your doing something with your life, because you have plans, hopes, dreams. If they put that energy that they used to judge and criticize you on themselves, then they too may reach a point where they can be happy with there lives and themselves.

This Saturday i celebrate 5 years with my partner. To some of you that may not seem like anything big but to me that’s huge. There were times that i wondered if we’d get this far and i know a few people that never thought we would and are still hoping that we probably won’t go much further, and to them i politely present my middle finger!
For me, it’s because so much has gone on and it just amazes me that we always manage to come through it. We managed to resolve one issue that seemed to resolve everything and now things feel stronger than ever…..anyway my point here being that, i guess sometimes the test of true love is not always the battles you face but it’s the ones you don’t. It’s the things that go unsaid, the issues you never knew were really there. It’s recognizing them. I was so blinded by issues in front of my eyes that i never actually realised that that was not the root of the problem, it was something i didn’t even notice was there, therefore i couldn’t see it.

Now i feel at peace with everything, with myself, with life, and with my relationship. I know that i will still reach a few more bumps along my journey but i am extremely grateful for the smooth ride now.

February 26, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff | , , , | Leave a comment

My detox + new things on the horizon

On January 1st i decided to go meat free for a month. I am so proud of myself as the challenge hasn’t been much of one at all. For someone who has always loved meat so much – i have found it so easy and I’m not sure if  I’m even going to go back to eating meat. I feel a lot more healthy and energised than i did when i was eating meat, as i am eating  a lot more fish, pulses, lentils and veg. It’s great what a detox can do for you – how it can make you feel.
I watched a programme the other day which was talking about cheap food. It was looking at meat and the content of certain foods such as pies, sausages and other foods which contained meat, and it was just informing you of how much meat they actually contained and what else they contained that we may have not been aware of.  Because of the ” Credit Crunch” some of us have been reduced to buying supermarket brand foods but are not fully aware of the price we are having to pay for eating these foods, as the meat and nutritional content is extremely low. Supermarkets are putting emphasis on the price of supermarket own brand foods to entice people to buy them yet the content of some of these foods is disturbing. Because of the predicament the decision between choosing healthier  foods or affordable food is for some – not really much of a choice at all, as healthier options are becoming more and more expensive. Health concerns and obesity is constantly being publicized yet we are left with not really much of a choice to buy these cheaper foods that are full of salt, high in fat and contain processed meat. We are having to chose to buy cheap food over the consideration of our health! I think that’sdisgusting. I have opted to buying vegetarian foods for a while now, such as sausages, burgers, pies etc. For these i know are going to be soya based and not processed meat, and for me – there is not really much difference in taste. Obviously at first there is, but then you don’t notice it. So a lot the freezer food i buy is Quorn, Lynda McCartney or any other meat free range.

 

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I am in the process of  starting my own business from home and will soon be introducing you to a new blog i am starting which will contain up to date information on the business – which by the way is a online Jewelery store – ladies.

January 29, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Futures BRIGHT!

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I must say this week has been pretty good. I have taken up drawing again and have recently started learning to paint too- Watercolor mostly. I used to draw when i was younger-it was a really big hobby of mine. But i just stopped, i never really felt that i was that good, therefore wouldn’t really get anywhere with it, which is what i had always hoped to do. But i felt i should give myself a chance, and decided not to give up before I’ve really begun. So i am now teaching myself. I hope to set up my own site soon presenting my Art.
I get a divine inner peace when creating, It’s wonderful. Don’t get me wrong – it’s the same when i write too, but it’s different when I’m drawing . I feel like that’s where I’m meant to be – that’s what I’m meant to be doing. Being able to visually express the wonders of my mind – to create a world through your eyes….is bliss. I have improved a lot and am extremely excited to see where it will take me.
It’s great to just allow yourself to be totally free, and just do the things that you love doing – you know, really going for it. There are so many things that i have always wanted to do, so many things that i have always wanted to try or take up. But I’ve just never done them, I’ve always stuck to the things that i know, the things I’m already good at. Preventing myself from really trying anything new. Now i regularly ask myself – Am i giving myself a chance? Am i still doubting my abilities? When i feel that I’m sliding towards -Yes, quickly i pull myself up by the collar and rubbish away any thoughts of self doubt. And the results are great.
Are you giving yourself a chance?

January 18, 2009 Posted by | Life, Personal stuff | , , , | 1 Comment

Todays Haiku

green-job-crossroads2The life you lead is
the life you choose so be sure
to make the right choice.

                                     Written by Leonie Isaacs

November 12, 2008 Posted by | haiku poetry, Life, Uncategorized | , | 1 Comment

Todays Haiku

Circling clockwise
Ticktocking as you go, slow
Yet life passes fast

                                             Time
                                              Written by Leonie Isaacs
  

 

Fresh pencil shavings
Innocent laughter lingers
Bon Bons passed around
 
       

                                          In the classroom
                                          Written by Leonie Isaacs
                  

November 4, 2008 Posted by | Life | , , , , , | Leave a comment