Exploration of The MIND

A journey of discovery

GoodBye

The new year approaches, and i embrace it with grace – strength- determination and excitement. This year has taught me a lot about, people, life and myself.
This time last year is one i don’t care to go into to much or even remember, lets just say,it wasn’t a good time for me. But i managed to find my way out of the dark and into a beautiful light. I have learnt to believe. To believe that there is a whole new world waiting out there for me, just waiting for me to find it. I have learnt not to dwell on my appearances – how things seem are not how they really are. Not to stress over my struggles, that brighter day’s are to come. I have learnt to see the beauty in everything, and to accept whatever life chooses to bless me with. For every occurrence is a blessing. Whether it be good….. or bad, a reason lies behind, – a lesson is to be learned.
This year a lot of things have been revealed to me about people, which for a moment, took me to a sad place. But i didn’t allow it to keep me there. This year i have realised just how strong a person i am. You can throw hateful- jealous words, and you can kick me, but you will never be able to hold me down.
I’ve learnt to accept who i am, I’ve learnt to love myself. To me that is my greatest achievement this year. Saying that, to some of you, you may think – “Is that all”, but it’s personal. I’ve come a long way to get here.

For the new year i plan to fully exert myself. I’m on a mission and nothings going to get in my way. I am going to create the life that i deserve. Experience the happiness that i deserve. I am going to give my son the life he deserves and plant stable roots for his future.
I am ready to say goodbye to 2008, and i thank God for it. I am now ready for 2009.

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December 31, 2008 Posted by | Personal stuff | , , , , | 2 Comments

Thank you for making me smile :)

Today i was immensely surprised by Stephen who gave me my first award -2 actually. To him i would like to say “Thank you. You have know idea how much they are appreciated”.

i-love-your-blog-award1                                         I love your blog award

ssaward

December 30, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

Pursuit of HAPPINESS

field-of-flowers

As i drift amongst my thoughts
I flourish with excitement
for the future bears good things to come
This creative process is a journey i relish
as i lay the path to my destiny

My sights are high
my mind is set
You can’t stop me now
I refuse to neglect my pursuit of happiness.

                                                Written by Leonie Isaacs

December 17, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 3 Comments

What a HELL of a day!

Today was horrendous.
Now that’s not normally a word i use to describe the events of my day, but in this case i have to make an exception. It was absolutely HORRIBLE, tiring , stressful and it felt like it was never going to end.
Luckily i am not going to bore you with the events of my tedious day. As i sit here curled up on the sofa with a nice glass of wine, finally getting a chance to sit down and unwind, it struck me that despite the horrible events of my day, they led to a really great outcome. A new chapter has begun and a bright future is foreseen.
Remembering a moment this afternoon when amongst the chaos i stopped to take a breath, as things seemed to be getting from bad to worse i just wanted to run away and hide. I knew that today was going to bring about a BIG change for me and my family. 
Today really allowed me to see that sometimes you may have to go through a moment of hell to reach your heaven.

December 12, 2008 Posted by | Personal stuff | , | 7 Comments

Facing my demons

For the past few days i have been battling my inner demons. I have been so frustrated with myself.
A while ago, lets say a year, i got a numerology reading done on the Internet. Not for any reason in particular, i received an email from an astrologer offering me a full numerology reading for free. Name, date of birth etc and so i thought, hey,why not. Anyway, the reading was very insightful, there was a lot on there that i agreed with but it said one thing that i thought was a load of rubbish. Now i can’t recite it word for word but it was along the lines of, “I don’t see things through to the end, I don’t complete tasks”. It was going pretty good up until then, so when i read that I thought, “well that’s not true”. I don’t normally get these kind of readings done, i don’t believe that someone can tell me who I am, so normally i would just say, “Whatever” and forget about it. But since i got this reading it has always played on my mind, and then the other day i realised why. Why it had bothered me so much was because it was true.
Admitting this to myself was really hard, because i am someone who takes great pride in my work,(which is one thing the reading did say and got right) and who is extremely driven by my many interests. I mean, it’s not to say that i have never completed anything i have started, but there are a lot of things that i have started and not completed. I think part of the problem is that i have too many interests, too many things that i want to try, or learn. But MY problem is that before i finish doing one thing I’m beginning another.
Lately i have just been thinking, “do i actually know what i want to do.” I have taken up so many things, and i have done so many different courses, believing that that was the route i wanted to go down and then later realising that it wasn’t or being doubtful as to whether i was making the right decision. Just when i feel like i am getting somewhere discovering more about me, i come to a sudden halt. It’s like i get through one hurdle only to face another. So for the past few day’s i have been angry with myself. I have been constantly asking myself , whats’ wrong with me. But i know the only person who can fix this is me.  I have got a lot of thinking and a lot more learning to do. A lot more to learn about myself.

December 6, 2008 Posted by | Personal stuff | , | 2 Comments

A game of TAG

 tagged1

I have been “tagged” by a friend of mine named Jerry, who might i add, has given me so many words of encouragement and support which i have highly appreciated, and who’s blog i really enjoy following.
The point of the game is to list 8 things about myself that few, if any, people know about me.
Great….. i have struggled to think of what i can tell you, without being to revealing, what i haven’t told you already. I’m sure the point of the game is really a dare to reveal my innermost secrets, which I’m not about to do. I mean…..come on now. But i can give you a “sneak peek” from my little black book of secrets.

  1. I’m a big kid at heart and love watching cartoons, my favourites being, “Tom and Jerry”, “As told by Ginger” and “Arthur”. The only people who know that is my mum and my partner.
  2. I’m quite an emotional person and can easily cry when watching one of my “chick flicks”, or whilst getting caught up in one of my soaps.
  3. I absolutely LOVE Marilyn Monroe. It’s sort of a crazy fascination to be honest, and i have mementos of her all around my flat.
  4. I sleep on the left side of the bed. (couldn’t have it any other way)
  5. Now this is something that NO body knows, i have this weird thing when ever I’m putting my shoes or socks on i always…and i mean always have put the right foot on first, it’s something i have always done. Not particularly fascinating i know, but no one knows that.
  6. I have been looking into courses to learn Portuguese in the new year. I Have always wished that i was fluent in another language, so i thought i should finally take that step and book a course or find a tutor.
  7. I am teaching myself how to watercolour paint. I have not been doing it for very long and can only do it in my spare time, which i don’t have much of but i have thought of an idea where i can link painting with my poetry.
  8. I have always wanted to write children’s books, but i have never really given it enough thought to actually do it. I think i should because i believe I’d really good at it.

And there you are, my 8 mini secrets. I know i am know supposed to tag someone else but i thought i would leave the game open to who ever feels like jumping in and revealing their 8 mini secrets by replying to this post.

December 5, 2008 Posted by | Personal stuff | , , | 2 Comments